Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
