i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize