operation have a gay friend backfired
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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