it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
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He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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