You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
