i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
