She is in my trunk
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
