dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
