no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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