I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
