it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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