dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
