I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
