He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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