Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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