I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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