I wanna bring you to show and tell
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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