I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
