dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
