so that wasnt chicken after all
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
