Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
