just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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