You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
