I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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