they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
