Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
