I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
