she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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