you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
