Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize