is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
