Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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