Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize