my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
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i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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