oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
