Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
