so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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