Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
