The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize