who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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