I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
