He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
