Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
