I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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