You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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