I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize