How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Randomize
