Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
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At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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