You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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