I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
