Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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