I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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