Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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