Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
porn star boner night. come get it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
