I wish I could teleport
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize