I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize