So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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