sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize