It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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