the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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