If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
