We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
